Keeps me from going insane, I hope, or maybe not.
Sadly I love reading about writers who lose their minds.
If I had to choose I would rather be a Mark Twain than an F. Scott Fitzgerald. But I would rather read Poe or Robert E. Howard.
I have sure had my battles, depression is a bear I wrestle with every freaking day. When I was younger I battled the demon of suicide and by the Grace of God I won that fight. I have been tempted to crawl inside a bottle and never come out, have not gone there so we call that one winning (Sorry Charlie I could not resist, still funny). I am far from a perfect person, I have the same temptations and demons we all have. Some of mine may be worse than some of yours, but God knows some of yours are worse than mine and I would not trade anyone, the devil you know and all.
Writing helps me deal with all that crap. I may never be a famous writer, I may never make a dime off anything I write, hell at the pace I am going now I will never finish a story (see previous post). But as long as I do not lose too much of myself or lose the wrong fight I don’t suppose I will complain too much. Some but not too much.
I will write, someone may read, may not. But I sure feel better when I have written and it keeps the bad crazy at bay for a little while longer. Or maybe it just takes me closer to the edge, until then I will just keep developing all those characters in my mind and maybe someday get them on paper. Or maybe they will just find me in the corner somewhere with all those people arguing in my head so loud the booze can’t shut them up any more. Either way at least it aint boring.
Really, how many folks who write fantasy know Elves? How many mystery writers really know serial killers, or jewel thieves?
I love to write. Sometimes I guess most of my writing would be considered editorial or opinion pieces. A friend once told me I would be good at the Hunter S. Thompson type of Gonzo writing. More guns less drugs on my end though.
I love Urban Fantasy stuff as well as good old fashioned High Fantasy. Love stuff like Robert E. Howard as well. But if we are to write what we know I am a little short on fantastical creatures, outside my head that is.
Part of my problem always seems to be finishing a story. I have lots of ideas, characters in my head, story lines, settings but once I start it on paper I never seem to get back to finish it. Many times I have started out to write a novel, then I think maybe if I shoot for a short story I might have better luck. So far not so good.
I do not know if it is my ADD or what but it is a struggle sometimes just to focus long enough to write a short blog post. And I do not do those as regularly as I would like.
I always, always feel better after I have written. Just like I always feel good after a workout or after Church on Sunday. Aside from Church on Sunday I am not so good at writing or working out on a regular basis. As I write this I see that my question to myself has to be “How do you get to the point of doing those things that are good for you more and the things that are bad for you less?”
Damnit now I have to find a way to answer myself (yes I am talking to myself but writing an internal monologue surely doesn’t count as insanity, at least that is what I will tell myself).
Self-discipline, that is the answer. I know that is the answer now I just have to learn some. Maybe, just maybe if I can do that I will be able to write more of those things I know and those things I want to know. So I guess I will let you know, you know. Right after I go eat this cookie, maybe unless something else pops into my head and I get distracted and go off in some other direction, again.